The Boob Goes Public

Any new mother that breastfeeds or anyone who has experienced a mother's feeding schedule will know that it is a 24/7 job. She is consumed with feeding. Consumed with keeping track of the clock for the feeding schedule. Consumed with figuring out what to do with her time until the next feeding. Everything revolves around feeding. Any planning, any event, task or errand I want to run must be run by the feeding schedule. For example, immediately after a feeding, I have 2-3 hours to do whatever I want. Shop, shower, pick at ripe pimples…whatever. This seems like plenty of time, but there’s the changing of diapers and getting her to settle down to allow me to do those things, which boils down to about 1 hour of time for me to do what I want. This usually includes brushing my teeth, washing my face, throwing away the diapers I left on the dresser over night and fixing something to eat…though she usually awakens before I can put the second bite in my mouth. Getting out of the house is a little more difficult. With all the heavy gear, driving to the destination, setting up the stroller and such, I have one hour-ish left to do what it was I wanted to do out of the house and then get back to the house to feed before she goes ballistic. So, this really leaves me with 30-ish minutes of real out of the house time depending on what part of town I have to drive to. I try to stay as close as possible.

Ok, this sounds like I’m bitching, but I’m merely telling you how it is. Truth is…I love the fact that I can provide this wonderful gift to my daughter. I feel honored and blessed to give and do this for her. There are so many benefits and I would do it again with my next child (oh boy, there I go again with the second child thing. Simmer down, Claudia). I’ve just got to find a way to have a life while breastfeeding. I think I broke that barrier this past weekend.

Sunday we spent most of our time at the house doing housework. It was a beautiful day and hubby and I were itching to get out of the house by the late afternoon. We decided to start getting ready to leave and then reality struck…She’s due to eat in the next hour and a half, which means we might as well stay until she feeds since we wanted to go to stores and get something to eat. That’s more than 1.5 hours of activity. Screw that! I was settled on leaving the house. I told myself…Self, if she gets hungry…I’ll figure something out. We can always come home when she starts screaming bloody murder. So we left and went straight to eat. Ten minutes into the dining experience, there she goes screaming. For crying out loud! We just ordered…we’re 20 minutes from home...WTF do I do? I looked in my diaper bag and after the pacifier failed, I pulled out the boob cover. I’m going to breastfeed this little monster in public. It had to be done! I never imagined how my first public feeding would be, but I never thought it would be at BJ’s Restaurant while hubby is having a beer and while everyone is already starring at us because of the monster cries. So, I whip it out, stuff her mouth and no more crying! VICTORY! Except that everybody is still staring! I mean, I remember looking at mothers feeding in public with admiration, but I don’t remember staring. Or did I stare? I mean…I guess…how could you not look or stare at the chance you’ll see a boob? Well, I kept on feeding her. Through the stares…through the uncomfortable position…and even after the food arrived. I did it! This is huge for me. It was empowering and I felt like I got a little piece of my old life back now that I can to do this public feeding thing just in case I was out doing regular people stuff.

Folks starred during the entire feeding and I didn’t even care. Kids stared, the waitress stared, and old people stared. They were all hoping to get a glimpse. But I was on top of the world and no stare could stop me now. After the monster finished eating, I put the boob back in place and ordered myself a cocktail to celebrate. Cheers to me and my boob.