It's time...

I haven't been out of work for more than 3 months and I'm already itching to get back to work. I dusted off my resume this week and will be running around town next week to convince, bribe and beg for a job in an industry of which I have no experience in. I do have managerial and project management experience and I've led teams and presented to clients, so I'm hoping these qualities are enough to get my foot through the door. I really so want to be in the spa industry.

In addition to wanting to work again, it's really important that I start socializing the monster. We are together everyday, every hour and there is not really any outside interaction. We entertain ourselves all day and it's time for her to learn to be around others for a block of time.

Back to shape update - I was getting lazy because the pounds were coming off fast due to breastfeeding. My goal was 145 pounds by August 29th. Welp, that's next week and I'm 2.5 lbs away. I'm already smaller in size than I was before the pregnancy, but man am I jello! I seriously need to get some tone back, so I'll be working on that...when time allows! Sometime inbetween my new job, caring for my baby and husband and cleaning. :)

Ciao4now

Don't be a Salmon

Just when you think you have it all under control with either the sleep schedule or eating situations, the baby mixes things up. The lil monster has had trouble eating for the last month or so and it is affecting her sleep...and most importantly my sleep. Not enough sleep = bad mood Claudia. I'm 97% sure my milk supply is low because she fusses after 10 minutes of eating and she puts anything that is in sight into her mouth even right after feeding. Last clue that milk is dying is that when I pump right afterwards, I get 1/2 oz of milk at best.

At first the nights were bad because she was waking up more often than usual due to the lack of calories she consumed during the day. It's so frustrating when she wakes up 3-4 times a night knowing that she can and has slept 6-7 hours straight...multiple times. The day was just as bad because she'd cry and fuss every 3 hours (while I fed her) and it's is frustrating and heart-wrenching at the same time. Why can't I provide for my daughter?! Yes, I can supplement, but I'm really trying not to give up on breastfeeding. I want those extra 10 IQ points for her, dangit! After 3 weeks of this exhausting routine and reading up on solutions I decided to feed her every 1.5 hours or so....this way, she would get as much as she can all the whilst her continuous sucking queues my body to make more milk. She's seems happier overall even though she still fusses after 10 min of feeding and her sleeping is better. I realized that when I stop fighting it and just except how things are going to be instead of trying to make them what I need them to be, things got better.

Go with the flow.

First letter

Dear Olivia,

As I sit hear watching you while you eat, an overwhelming feeling of happiness overcomes me and a tear of absolute gratefulness rolls down my cheek. I suddenly have the urge to write you a letter in the nearly blank journal your father gave me when we learned that you were growing inside me. I want tell you how happy and blessed I feel to have you are in our lives though I’m not quite sure I can ever really describe the tingly feeling inside my heart when I just look at you…or even think of you. You are just over four and a half months old and we still can’t believe you’re here with us…that we have a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Your smiles and quirky chuckles entertain us so and we can easily stare at you all day just to get one gummy laugh from you. It melts our hearts when you do.

You have blossomed so much in just the last month. You play with your dolls and toys more. You suck your toe, which I think you do because we nibble on your feet all the time, so it must taste good, right? You roll over with ease and this scares mommy a little because you do it while you’re asleep too. Soon you’ll be crawling and eating solid foods and saying “Mama”. Say it with me “Ma-ma”. I know that even if I try to teach you to say “Mama” first, you’ll say “Dada” anyway. But that’s ok, I’ll still love you.

I don’t want the years to fly by, but I know they will and when they do, I know you’re going to grow up to be a smart and beautiful girl. Your father and I are determined to give you the very best life we can give you. The three of us have already been through so many ups and downs and there will be forever more, but we can and will get through it all…together. We will always be here for you. To listen, give, teach, share and love…Whenever you need and want it…and sometimes when you don’t think you need it at all.

My sweet Olive, thank you for blessing us and coming into our lives. Thank you for teaching us about a love we never knew…and about patience and sacrifice. Thank you for allowing me to hold you just a little longer right before I put you down to sleep. I never mind it…not even at three in the morning. Sweet dreams, Olivia. I love you.